It’s Party Time – and I Don’t Have a Good Excuse to Stay Home

The woes of an introvert with social anxiety

Kim McKinney

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Photo by SKYLAKE STUDIO on Unsplash

It’s almost time for my friend’s 65th birthday party.

I’m obviously not on my way. I’m writing this.

It’s not that I don’t want to go. I do. But it’s so darn hard!

I’m single and will arrive by myself. While I know I’ll know a few people, there are more I won’t know.

They’re probably people I want to know. These friends are amazing, and down-to-earth, and pick friends based on their character and sense of fun.

Many will be musicians. I love musicians. There will be great music playing all night long. That’s guaranteed.

Still, the social anxiety creeps in. The introvert’s inability to engage in small talk. The times I can’t find my friends that are there. I simply feel awkward.

Sometimes I meet one of those awesome people who make conversation easy. I want to hold onto them. Hold them hostage. Make them talk to me all night.

Sometimes I’ll simply find a seat near the music where conversation isn’t required. That works for a while until something inside of you recognizes “I’m at a party pretending I’m by myself.”

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Kim McKinney

A non-niche writer who loves a good story. My ADHD mind thinks way too much for its own good, but I have grown to love it. An idea person.